My parents were in Mumbai for a week and the time spent with them was a blessing. Once they left, my husband had to go out of station for work commitments. This left me alone with the baby. You understand what that means! A little peek into my motherhood journey and my current situation
First of all after having so many people around, when he has to bear with my face the whole day, he becomes frustrated. Secondly, I felt his bottom two teeth while massaging his gums the other night. That might be another reason for his cranky behaviour. Thirdly, my help has some issues at her home, and cannot stay with us for a longer period of time. All this is taking its toll on me. I slept for only 3 hours last night and my head is aching badly. Ayu is napping next to me and I am shedding a few tears and pouring my heart out wondering what am I doing with my life?
Motherhood is a tough journey
A little background about me. I am the eldest child on my mom’s side and being the first baby that her family saw, I am very pampered (in a good way) and loved. I have been working since I was 21 years and living away from my parents since then. This gave me a great opportunity to become an independent and strong woman. Though I couldn’t get away from the super emotional side of mine.
I have taken the most important decisions in my life and thankfully my parents have supported me in every sphere. Fast forward to this day, I am tending to a seven months old all by myself. He depends upon me 24*7. Its been almost a year since I went to a salon for a makeover. I can’t even have a cup of coffee in solace. Last shopping I did was a month ago, and all I bought was oversized T-shirts and yoga pants. It’s been more than a year since I went to watch a movie in the cinema hall. My last vacation with my husband was in October 2015 !
Sometimes I really feel sad about my life. I constantly fight with my husband on issues related to sharing responsibilities of the baby and so on. I always tend to ask him why I am doing everything by myself?
The Happy Moments
That is when I remind myself, I signed up for this. I was the one who wanted a child and a family of my own. This little baby of mine is a blessing from God to all the prayers that I offered to have a child. It sometimes is frustrating to lose my independence but this is a new challenge my life has put across. I might not be a perfect mother or a perfect wife, but at-least I am trying my best. In times like these, I tell myself that I am stronger than I think I am. I have nurtured and delivered this beautiful baby, how can I question my strength?
Everyday is a challenge after having a child. At times we lose it, and question every step we take. But that is a part and parcel of parenting. Motherhood is confusing. But it comes with the blessing of seeing the one you created grow up as a happy kid and shine like a star.
Now that he has started giving signs of waking up, let me wind up. Looking at his beautiful face I know where the strength to strive comes from. I have come to realise that these challenging times make me a better mother, better woman and most importantly a better human being.
I am never going to give up!
🌸What gives you the motivation to get up and get going? What do u do on the days when you feel confused about your life?🌸